Closer
by aeternalis
Summary: I was the ice princess of Hogwarts- I spent forever building up my castle walls, shutting others out. I tried to convince myself I was happier that way... And then along came James Sirius Potter, with his smile and his faith and his warm hands. He climbed my castle walls without the fear of falling. 'He took two steps closer... but I would always be taking three steps back.'


**A/N: Hello lovelies! I've been wanting to tell Dixie's story for the longest time now, and she's been yelling at me in the back of my mind- I figured it's time I finally share it with you all. So, welcome to Closer. Fasten your seatbelts, hold tightly to your belongings and please keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times- ladies and gentlemen, we're in for one bumpy ride. **

Chapter 1: Beginning

"Dixie," He moaned against my lips as I kissed him. We were pressed together tightly, the bare skin of our stomachs touching and sticking together in the heat we had created. Our shirts had been ditched several minutes ago, and they lay carelessly on the floor of the abandoned classroom. I was sitting precariously on the edge of a desk, with my skirt shoved up around my hips and my legs wrapped around his waist. One of his hands was digging into my thigh while the other was clasping my hair, trying to get as close to me as possible.

We pulled apart, and I watched him lazily while he tried to catch his breath. Long blonde eyelashes cast shadows onto his cheekbones... With soft lips and messy hair falling into his eyes, he could be classified as goodlooking. He was the captain of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, and girls often fawned over him- but I could hardly remember his name. Andrew? Aaron?

While I racked my brain for his first name, he had seemed to gather himself. We met eyes, and I smiled coquettishly before grabbing him roughly by the back of the neck and bringing his lips down to mine.

Tongues battling, Aaron pressed me forward until I was completely lowered with my back against the desktop. The air around us was tense and heavy, and I was trying my best to ignore the edge of the desk digging into my spine.

He kissed me one last time and grinned, and I smirked in return. "Ready?" Aaron asked. His voice was low and slightly raspy, a tell-tale sign that he was more than ready. I nodded, batting my eyelashes. His fingers worked their way up under my skirt, sliding across my thigh, inching higher and higher...

In a flash of movement, I pulled my wand from my boot and held it to his temple.

"Confundo," I whispered.

Aaron's eyes instantly glazed over, hand falling away from my leg. I pushed him up and off of me, disgusted, and he stumbled backwards. In a matter of three seconds, I jumped off of the desk and walked over to where my bra had been tossed. Quickly clasping it back on and reaching down for my shirt, I looked over my shoulder. Aaron was rubbing his forehead, eyes slowly focusing on me as the effects of my spell wore off. "What... what happened?"

"We just had sex," I informed him flatly, not looking up from buttoning my top. "We got a little tipsy from some nicked firewhiskey, and one thing led to another."

Having fixed my uniform, I snatched his shirt from the floor and tossed it to him; he caught it, eyes wide, and I winked. "It was mind-blowing, but we both agreed it was a one time thing."

The lies flew off of my tongue with ease- but what he didn't know couldn't hurt him, right?

He still looked confused, rubbing his forehead and squinting at me. "I- what?"

I held back a grimace. I didn't have the time to stand and watch him fumble with his sudden memory loss. I had gotten all that what I wanted, and there was no use in sticking around.

"Anyways," I yawned, smoothing my hair down. "I suppose I'll see you around, Aaron."

I smirked, turning on my heel and sauntering from the room before he could object.

"It's... it's Adrian," He called after me, but I was already halfway out the door and halfway past not caring.

The door shut behind me with a loud groan, and I took off down the hallway towards the beginning of the Grand Staircase, feeling rejuvenated.

Adrian and I had to skip dinner in order to sneak off together, but I didn't mind much. It had lasted longer than expected, though, and curfew was almost upon the school. The castle was mostly empty, save from a few scattered people around the bottom of the staircase who were still catching up on things. But that didn't stop all eyes from turning to me as I approached.

I guess you could say I had a reputation around Hogwarts; albeit, it was a bad one. I was hardly favored around the castle- in fact, I was mostly hated or feared.

I spoke only when words were necessary, and the majority of those words were unpleasant. I didn't shy away from people, I outright rejected them. Most of my time was spent in the library, securing my place as the top of my class, while everyone else mingled around outside. I was bitter and sarcastic and easily vexed, unafraid to jinx someone who crossed me. My face was always fixed into a frown, and I looked at people like they were two feet tall.

But despite this, I was still lusted after. I was blessed with my mother's sharp face and my father's scorching green eyes... it was a deadly combination to have, as he often joked. With that paired with my slender frame and pale blonde hair that fell to my waist, 'beautiful' was a word I had grown used to hearing.

Girls hated me for it, but boys fawned all over me in hopes of adding me to the notch in their bedpost. Maybe it was because I seemed so icy and untouchable to the world, but would let them put their hands on me. To them, I was a conquest.

If one was especially stupid enough- as Adrian was- I would spare him a couple of minutes. It never got far with any of them, and the routine was the same. I snogged them just enough to be satisfied, then confunded them and made them believe we had gone all the way.

It was better this way, for both of us. It temporarily cured the insatiable emptiness in my chest, and the boys got to go around with bragging rights to the rest of the school. None of them bothered me afterwards, either, because I was nothing to them.

It all worked out well.

After a bit of trudging my way up the lengthy staircase, I finally made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady. She had been gazing off, twirling a strand of hair around her finger, but she snapped to attention when I approached. The frown was already pulling at her features.

"Well, you're awfully late, aren't you?" She observed, looking down at me through narrowed eyes.

"And you're awfully overweight, aren't you?" I taunted, crossing my arms. "Now that we've established the obvious, perhaps you can let me in. Gillyweed."

"Rude girl," She huffed, crumpling up her face in anger, but the frame swung open and I clambered through the portrait hole.

"The nerve of some students lately... I swear..." She grumbled as it closed after me, and I laughed under my breath. The Fat Lady and I never did get along. I was constantly waking her up past curfew so I could get through, and in turn, she was always lecturing me about how to be a 'proper, respectable young lady'.

I snorted at the thought, then looked around at the Gryffindor common room. Red covered everything within sight, and I vaguely pondered how I ended up in the most obnoxious House.

Quite a few students had gone to bed, but by the love of Merlin, my least favorite ones were lounging near the couch by the fireplace.

Five heads turned simultaneously in my direction, and my face immediately set into a scowl.

James Potter smiled at me happily, waving me over, but the others' expressions were entirely different.

Lily Potter held a personal vendetta against me. She was persistently out for my blood, and I might have been impressed by her dedication if I didn't hate her so viciously. She was only a third year, but she considered herself to be some kind of queen. She was always on top of the latest gossip, always bossing around fellow students, and always the first in line at the Kick-Dixie-in-the-teeth booth. Sure, that last one isn't a real thing, but if it was, you can bet your arse she'd take part.

Rose Weasley was practically her sidekick, and hated me just as much. She was a bit less forward about it than Lily was, but she had a mean stinging hex that she loved to practice. Part of her hatred, I'm sure, sprang from the fact that I was better than her in my studies. Though she was incredibly intelligent, she always fell short when compared with me. Our competetive natures often butted heads, and she had made it her mission to be better than I could ever be. Her face was usually scrunched up as though she had just smelled something terrible, which was a pity really. If she cleaned herself up and was a bit more approachable, she might be an almost decent person.

Sitting on the floor, with his back against Rose's legs, was Freddy Weasley- he was to James, what Rose was to Lily. He seemed to hold no grudges against me, and was never outright cruel, although he definitely kept his distance when I was in a horrible mood. All in all, he reminded me of a large lap dog who always had his tongue out and still came running to you no matter how many times you kicked it.

And then there was Dominique Weasley. Though I was beautiful, I didn't hold a match to her. We shared almost the same blonde hair, but that was the end of our similarities. She was tall and willowy, with perfect ivory skin and long black eyelashes. Though guys wanted her just as badly as they did me- if not more- she had a certain air about her that demanded respect. Occasionally foul-tempered, she could either be the sweetest person on Earth or your worst nightmare. I never knew which one she would be, and for me, she was always turning her personality from ice cold to blazing hot. If she wasn't glaring at me with fury, then she was simply staring at me with an unreadable expression in her bright blue eyes. We were friends long ago, but time had changed us. Now, we were practically strangers.

I looked at them all quietly, hoping they could feel my uninterested vibes from across the room.

Lily was the first to break the silence. "Trollop," She greeted me with a sneer, getting to her feet and folding her skinny arms. She was ready to fight. She always was.

"Hey, Orphan Annie," I responded sweetly, blowing her a kiss. I don't think she understood the reference, but she looked pissed nonetheless, and that was good enough for me.

The Potters and Weasleys were the only ones in the school who weren't even somewhat scared of me; in fact, most of them hated me and had no qualms in letting me know. They thought that they ruled the school- and consequently, me. The majority of Hogwarts treated them like they were damn royalty, kissing their asses and feet and hanging off of their every word.

For Merlin's sake, some of them had fanclubs devoted to them. It was disgusting.

I personally never understood what made them so special to everyone else. Okay, so they're the spawn of people who once saved the wizarding world... it's not like they did anything noteworthy, other than coming from the loins of the Golden Trio.

"Where were you at dinner?" James cut us off before Lily could say anything nasty. He smiled his trademark crooked grin, unaware of the scowl his cousins and sister were sending him. "I saved you a seat."

I rolled my eyes- James always saved me a seat at mealtime. Sometimes when I was actually hungry enough to go to the Great Hall, I would sit next to him. Nobody else dared to offer me the seat next to them, most likely concerned for their own safety. Consequently, I often find myself glaring at my pancakes while James and Fred hold a conversation over my head. James acted as though we're the best of friends, no matter how hard I try to push him away or what ugly words I had for him. He was always cool, always laughing, and he was never at all affected by my bad demeanour.

Because of this, I hated him the most.

The other people in his family atleast had enough sense to stay away from me, or wish harm upon me. Every time they flinched or cried or turned red with anger, I felt empowered. But James Potter saw right through me, and he didn't care one bit.

I wanted to gouge his eyes out.

"Do you really have to ask where she was, James?" Rose scoffed, giving me a once over. "I'd gamble that we all know exactly what she was doing."

Lily's lips quirked up in a mocking smile. "You're right, Rosie. If only we knew who."

For some reason, James flinched at Lily's words, and he turned away to gaze into the dying fire. Dominique and Freddy looked thoroughly uncomfortable, watching the whole exchange with startled expressions.

Suddenly overwhelmed with anger, all I could do was glare at the lot of them. "I don't think I really have to explain myself to any of you," I snapped, gathering my pride and striding toward the stairs that led to the girls dormitories.

Exhaustion was beginning to weigh on me, and all I wanted to do was take a hot shower and go to sleep. So, it came much to my surprise when I crashed straight into an invisible barrier that bounced me backwards. I stumbled, caught off guard, before catching myself and whirling around to regard them. 

Lily pocketed her wand and cocked her head at me expectantly.

"Merlin, you lot are bloody psychotic," I laughed drily. "Why is it that you all have to nose into my business so often? Your lives must be so uninteresting."

"Why don't you quit making it everyone's business by stumbling through the portrait hole, half-dressed like every other night?"

"Why don't you get laid?" I suggested, with as much kindness in my voice as possible. It wasn't alot.

"Because, unlike you, I'm not a slag." Her voice dripped with disdain, and it took all my will not to rip her apart.

"Jealous?" I cooed. 

We had gathered a small crowd of straggling Gryffindors now- they huddled around us in excitement, waiting for the fight to break out.

Lily laughed, shaking out her red hair with her fingers. "Of you? Honey, I think you have it switched around."

"You've caught me, Lily," I smirked condescendingly. "I'm so envious of you. I wish I had a flat chest. It must be nice having not hit puberty yet." 

It was a half-assed comeback, but I knew it had hit her sore spot when her face turned red. Anyone who knew Lily knew that her lack of chestiness- despite being only a third year- was something she despised about herself.

"Go fuck yourself, Karsen," She said, balling her fists up and ignoring James' plea for her to watch her language.

"No, thank you. I have plenty of willing volunteers," I smirked, tossing my hair over my shoulder. "You, on the other hand..."

In a flourish, her wand was out and pointed directly to my chest. I rose one thin eyebrow, not at all worried. Lily scared a lot of people because of her Weasley temper, but I knew she would never be able to do the same sort of damage that I could.

"Listen here, slut," Her voice was low, brown eyes glittering with fury. "Stay the hell away from me, and my family, or I swear to Merlin I will make your life miserable."

I briefly wondered if I should bring up that I wanted nothing more than to stay away from her family, and that they're the ones who initiated this- but the words fell short.

The threats felt juvenile, and I laughed once in her face. Taking a step closer, I pushed her wand out of the way and brought my face close to hers. We were almost nose to nose, and I had never been so close to her. "Do your worst, bitch," I hissed, and the words seemed to break something open.

Lily screamed in outrage, and launched herself at me in some sort of muggle attack. Her grimy fingernails were millimeters away from my eyes before Rose caught her around the waist and began to tug her away.

"Oh, look who's finally stepping up to her duty as Prefect," I scoffed as Rose struggled with an outraged Lily. James, Fred and Dominique had all been watching us fight, used to us throwing insults at eachother, but when Lily got physical they had all jumped up and rushed to her side.

Rose didn't grace me with a response, too busy trying to confine a kicking and screaming redhead while wrestling the wand out of her hand. If you asked me, Lily was being a tad bit melodramatic about the whole thing, but I suppose she never was known for her brilliant displays of class. 

"All of you! Leave now!" Fred bellowed to the group of others that had surrounded us to watch. He was busy trying to pin Lily's arms to her sides, but his order was effective nonetheless. The crowd scattered like leaves, disappearing to their respective rooms. It was a rare thing to see Freddy Weasley yelling.

"She's not worth it, Lil, she's not worth it," Dominique chanted to Lily, smoothing down her hair in an attempt to calm the girl.

I pursed my lips at her words. "Well," I said flatly, as everyone surrounded the precious Potter sister. "This has been such a lovely chat, but I'm going to leave now."

I longed to stay and fight them all, maybe shove my fist into Lily's ugly face or pull out Rose's vivid, frizzy hair. But I was still trying to cling onto my high from my session with Aaron, and determined not to let them ruin it any further, I simply walked away.

I pushed past them, leaving the group of idiots to hold onto eachother, and I hurried up the spiraling stairs to the 6th Years' dormitory.

The light was out in our room, meaning that my dormmates (minus Dominique, who was no doubt still patting Lily like she was a wild animal) were probably already sleeping. Regardless, I made no effort to keep quiet as I stormed over to my bed and fell face-first into the sheets, letting the events of the night wash over me.

Dominique came into the room around 20 minutes after me, and we locked eyes, but she didn't say one word to me. Instead, she walked right to her bed and climbed in, pulling the curtains around her shut with vigor. I glared at the spot where her head had been.

I lay there in the darkness for the rest of the night, my body exhausted but my mind racing.

I knew it was stupid, and I knew I shouldn't let it get to me- I didn't know why it was getting to me. But for the rest of the night, I tossed and turned, replaying the four words in my head like a broken record.

She's not worth it.

**A/N: Hey, y'all. Hope you're enjoying the story so far. I'm really excited to share this with you guys, and I hope you'll stick around. Dixie is my favorite OC out of all the ones I have ever tried to write stories about. I think with enough time, you'll love her just as much as I do. IMPORTANT NOTE: This story is primarily for HPFF, my main fanfiction site. I won't always go back and edit my author's notes so don't be too confused if I say something about 'hpff' or 'the queue'. Anyways, feel free to spread some holiday cheer and leave me a review? :) - Nali. **


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